I’ve always been good at first dates, though. Our first date certainly turned out well. I have the habit of extending them beyond their expected life. Our getting coffee turned into getting dinner as well, a previous first date (in my sluttier days) moved from dinner right into a night cap at the guy’s apartment. After a first date guys always want to continue dating me. I really don’t know what it’s like to fail at a first date, and I guess that’s why I like going on them. I don’t know what it is about me that makes guys want to date me. I just go with it.
Some of my girlfriends hate going on dates, especially first ones. I don’t really understand it. Even if a date doesn’t go well, it’s still fun to get out and do something, meet someone new and put yourself out there. It’s all good practice. And you should always have an exit plan for truly horrendous dates.
Something I like to do on first dates is ask “What’s a good story that defines you?” I know it sounds super cheesy, like something a college admission’s councilor would ask, but when you’re talking to someone for the first time, it gets awkward and feels like an interview. Why not try to make it a little more interesting? I feel like everyone has that one story they like to tell at parties, or that one story their friends tell when introducing them. Usually it’s something funny that hits at the core of a person’s personality. You’re actually the reason I have my story.
We were over at my friend’s apartment drinking before going out for someone’s birthday. And one of my girl friends gets there, and she’s wearing this truly unfortunate outfit. (It happens to all of us from time to time.) She was wearing this like white t-shirt that was made of jersey or some similarly cheap-looking material. And it had silver rhinestones all over the front. Nothing terrible, but nothing good for going out either. When she asked me what I thought of her outfit, I, being my bitchy self, told her that it wasn’t really a going out kind of shirt and that it was something that I’d “clean my apartment in.” (Luckily my friend has thick skin and I think takes some sort of pleasure out of my harsh critiques because she continues to ask my opinion.)
Now you and I know that the whole “cleaning my apartment” line was something you said. And I have tried to give you credit when my friends re-tell that story (which happens more often than you’d think). But they don’t believe me. And now that we’re not together, I’m going to take full responsibility. It is something I would have said. I’m sorry I’ve stolen it, but really, my friends stole it for me and it makes a great and funny vignette about who I am, my bitchy judgy-ness and all. Maybe not the best first date story, but I’m sure it’ll play well with the gays.
Have you been on any dates yet? In my previous relationships my ex-boyfriends have always moved on more quickly than me. It drove me crazy, my overly competitive side rearing its ugly head. I think the feeling was amplified back then, though, because at my college there was such a microcosm of gays. It was all so incestuous and once someone had hooked up with one of my exes that pretty much crossed them off my potential rebound list.
If you are dating already, I wouldn’t hold a grudge. I don’t necessarily want to hear about all the details, but I’d be happy to know that you were happy. Or I at least wouldn’t feel gut-wrenchingly jealous if you’d moved on first. The one good thing about our break-up is that you ended things because you didn’t want to be in a long-term relationship. As long as you weren’t lying to me, that means that I don’t really have to worry about you showing up with a new, serious boyfriend anytime soon. Because that is something I don’t think I could take. Not yet, at least. It’s only been three and a half months. It’d make me feel awfully replaceable to see you’d moved on so soon.