I went out in Brooklyn last night. I’d never been to the gay bars out there. I’m exploring new parts of the City now that we’re not together. I’m avoiding Hell’s Kitchen, if you couldn’t guess. It’s not that I’m scared of running into you or your friends; it’s just that I’m not ready for that. Branching out has been good for me, though. And that’s why I planned a night out in Brooklyn, hitting up Sugarland for the very first time.
I had planned on it being a big night out with all my gay friends. I was supposed to meet up with Thurgood and some of his friends. And I was going to see if Jeremy, Scott and Mitchell C wanted to come. Unlucky for me, Thurgood had to cancel last minute. He had a friend’s birthday party to go to. And then Jeremy was in Chicago for a wedding and Scott had his entire family, including his little niece and nephew, visiting for the weekend. That left Mitchell C and me. But I wasn’t about to let the night go to waste. So we went out, the two of us with another of Mitchell C’s friends, Mitchell F, tagging along.
I’ve met Mitchell F before, a skinny, pale guy. Cute in a twink-ish kind of way. Funny. It was a good group, the three of us. We hopped on the L train at midnight and headed to Brooklyn.
When we got to Sugarland, I didn’t really know what to expect. They had a five dollar cover which is kind of lame. But not too expensive. So we paid and went inside. It was almost dead, though. I guess 12:30AM was too early to get there. We’d gotten our wrists stamped already, though, so we decided to head over to Metropolitan for a few drinks. It’s another gay bar in Brooklyn, only a few blocks away from Sugarland. It has more of a bar vibe to it. They have a backyard patio area which is great on warmer nights and it was way more crowded when we got there around 12:45.
I don’t remember most of what the Mitchells and I talked about. Pretty normal stuff about work and boyfriends and drugs and sex and life in general. I hadn’t seen Mitchell C for a few weeks, so we had plenty to catch up on.
One conversation does stand out to me, though. We were talking about ex-s (surprise surprise). I mentioned that I felt I was starting to get over you now that it’s been a month and a half. And it’s partially true. I still swing back and forth about you, my feelings dependent on the day. Some days I’m still hung up on you and can’t imagine ever moving on to find someone else. While other days I get excited at the prospect of finding someone new. (It’s like this song that I’ve been listening to on a lot of my runs. It’s called Tether by CHVRCHES. There’s a line that the repeat a few times in it. And depending on how I’m feeling, I hear it as either “I feel incapable of seeing the end” or “I’m feelin’ capable of seeing the end.” I’ve listened to it so many times and my mind still plays tricks on me, hearing it both ways. I’ve never looked it up, though. I rather like the ambiguity, and what it says about my mood when I hear it.)
I don’t know. It’s this weird vortex I’m caught in. And I expect I’m going to be stuck in it for a while.
Having no idea about the normal timeline for getting over an ex-, I was encouraged to hear both Mitchells think a month and a half a very short time to get over you. Michell F said he’d taken seven months to get over his last relationship, and he had been the one to end things. Then Mitchell C said he still isn’t completely over his ex-. And they broke up like three years ago.
I like having this perspective. I realize that getting over you isn’t something I need to rush through. That it’s something I can do while I also get on with my life. And yes, some days will be better than others, but in the long-run it’ll get less painful as each week passes.
After we spent about an hour at Metropolitan, we decided we’d go back and try Sugarland again. We already had our hands stamped, after all. We couldn’t waste that five dollars. And we figured it would have picked up considerably, which it had.