Month: July 2014

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013 (Part 1)

I’m literally dying inside right now. My boss just pulled Jill into his office to have a talk with her. You know how much I dislike her (loathe her is probably closer to the truth). She’s just so incompetent.

(I had to show her how to format a cell in Excel yesterday! She couldn’t figure out how to get it to stop making a date into a number. Who can’t figure that out? She’s twenty-seven. That’s like middle school level. And if you can’t figure out something so simple on your own, maybe you try googling it instead of asking me. Save yourself the embarrassment.)

She’s also the most awkward person I have ever met. She can’t take a social cue to save her life. One time she asked her supervisor what her salary was. (You can’t ask your manager how much they make!)

You had a terrible assistant on your team, too. We used to exchange stories. It was part of our ritual, how we wound down from a frustrating day at work. I miss hearing those Kevin stories. And I miss having you to tell my Jill stories to. Because they keep coming. And they’re getting better each day.

But back to why I’m dying right now.

My boss called Jill into his office to talk. And then, WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR, he proceeded to give her a verbal warning. I could hear every word…and of course listened to it all, wishing so badly that I could gchat you all the gruesome details. But I couldn’t. So here’s what you missed.

Apparently a couple people had complained about her work ethic. I can see why they would. She leaves everyday right at five. Like, she won’t answer her phone at 4:50 if she thinks the call will take longer than ten minutes. She also has the terrible habit of telling people that she’s leaving at five so she won’t be able to start a project until the next morning. You can’t tell people that no matter where you work!

I understand that she used to work in an unemployment office. I can’t imagine how shitty that job must have been. Working for the government there’s no such thing as overtime. But she doesn’t work for the government anymore. She works at a major corporation and is salaried.

The best part, the lowest blow, was that my boss called her “Mrs. Five-o-Clock” (she is married, believe it or not). That must sting like a bitch. (The “Mrs. Five-o-Clock,” not the married part.)

Jill was blindsided by the whole thing, of course. She’s so unaware of what’s going on around her. My boss was nice, though, and offered encouragement and ways that she could improve her performance, prove herself again. It was only a verbal warning, meaning there are still like three more steps to actually firing her. It’s virtually impossible to fire someone at my company, which gives me some comfort in my own job security. And while I do not like working with her one bit, I don’t wish her fired. Not having a job is terrible.

Maybe she’ll take the warning to heart and get better. We’ll see what time she leaves the office tonight.