Sunday, August 18th, 2013 (Part 4)

I spent about three hours awake in bed this morning, the first two to get over most of my hangover and the last one to sulk. I got up around eleven and managed to keep down a bowl of cereal. Then I didn’t have anything else to do. I usually spend my Sundays with you. We get Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast and then do whatever. Usually a trip to the grocery store to get stuff to make dinner that night or out to see a movie. Sometimes we would have potlucks to go to with your friends or we’d take a nice walk in the park. I don’t know what to do now.

So I decided to check Facebook. I’d been checking it throughout the weekend, waiting to see when you’d change your relationship status. I hadn’t changed mine yet. Or my profile picture which featured a snapshot of the two of us. I was waiting on you to update your life before I updated mine. I still didn’t quite believe things were over between us. I hoped that you’d change your mind. I know, how cliché of me to rely on Facebook for affirmation. But you hadn’t updated your status yet, so maybe you weren’t in a hurry to erase me from your life.

Apparently two days was enough time for you, though. I guess I should be happy you didn’t change it instantaneously. When I saw that little box reading “single” on you profile page, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. And then punched me again in the throat. I logged off quickly, not ready to see the end of us staring me in the face.

I got back on an hour or so later and updated my own relationship status, glad that I had it set on private so it didn’t send an update to everyone I knew. Missing you all alone was bad enough. I couldn’t do it if I had to field sympathetic messages and texts all day. Then I changed my profile picture. Now whenever someone views my page, I’m single. It’s Facebook official, something that would have counted for a lot back in college. Now, I don’t think anyone even notices. And I’m glad of it.

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